Trump Is A Stupid Fat Idiot Just Like The Republican Base

 

TRUMP TO BASE: I'M A FAT IDIOT--JUST LIKE YOU!

TThe present crisis in American government is rooted not in some structural defect the Founders 

never imagined, but rather, the Faustian bargain at the heart of the modern-day GOP: government 

by the stupidest thirty-five per cent of the electorate.

Time was when the Republican Party was the home of pinstriped Ivy League fiscal conservatives 

and Cold Warrior mandarins in the image of William F. Buckley and George H.W. Bush. Today

 it harbors gibbering flat-earthers like James “Jimmy the Chimp” Jordan and Trey “Goober” 

Gowdy. And of course its titular and actual leader, Donald “Shroomdick Donny” Trump—fat,

 lazy, bankrupt, and unschooled, a squirming sack of appetites and rage.

But wait, you say. If he’s stupid, how did he get to be president?

Easy. Because he says what stupid people think. That’s his base—stupid people.

Oh, I know. We’re not supposed to say that. See, the real beneficiaries of political correctness 

are not transgendered troops or kneeling athletes. No, it’s the knuckle-dragging cousin spawn 

who blow spittle all over the phone when they rave about Uranium One over their third PBR 

of the morning calling in to AM talkshows. Stung by the backlash to Hillary’s too-moderate 

description of the Trump base as “a basket of deplorables,” the media gently refers to it as 

“poorly educated older whites.”

Is “dumb fucking hillbillies” so hard to say?

Trump knew his base and knew he’d get their support by saying what they thought. Because 

he was what poor people think a rich guy looks like—fat, lamptanned, MetArt wife—they 

felt empowered when he repeated the uninformed nonsense they screamed at the TV. And 

when he actually got elected, they were not only empowered, but vindicated—we must be 

right, because the President says it!

If it were just a matter of Presidential electoral politics, that might not be so bad. He’d just

 ramp up the idiotic rhetoric and racist hatemongering six months before polling day and revert 

into something like pragmatism in the interval.

But sadly, that’s not enough. As the present crisis proves beyond rebuttal, he can’t just say what 

stupid people think—he has to do what stupid people think.

That’s how we got to the shutdown. As the President’s newly-minted and likely to be short-lived

 Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney said in a now-regretted soundbite, the idea of a border wall 

is “childish.” But Trump, knowing his supporters, pounded it through their heads that only a

 cardboard fort would protect them from the brown boogiemen storming across the Rio Grande

 to steal their jobs and rape their poodles. But when he acted as though he could ignore his own 

bullshit in the interest of normal governance, Base tribunes Anne Coulter and Rush Limbaugh 

grabbed him by his cheap Turkish-made overlong tie and told him nothing doing—you made 

this monster, now you’re feeding it.

So Trump is stuck. And so are we.